Maybe you are new on the single scene, maybe you have been single for a long time – either way you know one thing and that is that you don’t want to be single.
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Don’t worry, you are not alone, many people do not want to be single, being alone can be very lonely and you have no one to share your life with. Here are some ways that you can make yourself more attractive to people – some of these ideas may be new to you:
• There is a difference between being single and looking for someone and being desperate. Just know in the back of your mind that there is someone out there who is right for you, and you will meet them one day.
In the meantime, coming across as desperate is simply not attractive. You need to show interest in people that you find attractive, but don’t smother them. Respect personal boundaries and make small conversation. If you end up getting a person’s phone number don’t call them immediately. Instead wait up to a week to call and set up a time to meet for coffee.
• Meeting for coffee does not always mean that there is going to be a relationship that follows. Take each meeting one at a time and enjoy that person’s company. If something more starts to develop, then follow up with it, but don’t have expectations from the start.
Think of these meetings as a way to get to know the person, let them tell make it known to you that they are interested and then go from there. There really is no big rush when it comes to developing a relationship and if you are not putting on the pressure, this person will feel more comfortable around you.
• Keep yourself in good shape. Eat healthy, work out regularly and don’t smoke. By showing that you care about yourself and your own body and health, people will instantly find you more attractive.
• Never talk about your ex(es). Whether you have one ex or several, it is never a comfortable topic to discuss what you did in the past and how your last relationship ended badly. No one expects to be first in your life, but they certainly don’t want to sit around and hear about your sorrows and how you wish it had worked out with that person in your past. Your past is the past, leave it there.
• Going out for a few drinks with friends? Don’t overdo it. Never drink so much that you have to apologize for what you have done the next day. It is hard to reverse the damage that being overly drunk can do and these days, pictures can end up online, so be careful.
• Be a good listener. Often people just want someone to sit and listen to what they have to say, they don’t want you to interrupt and give examples of things in your own life that are comparable. When you listen to people they start to trust you and when they trust you they really like you. Sometimes just being there for someone can be enough for them to start to develop feelings for you.
• Be a good person and respect other people. Even if you don’t like someone, don’t talk about them behind their back. Don’t say anything to a person about another person that you would not say to that other person’s face. Gossip makes you look petty and people don’t trust petty people.
• Take care of yourself. If you need money, go out and find a job and work to save until you can afford what you need. Get yourself an apartment or your own place (don’t live in your parent’s basement until you are forty) and furnish it with stuff that you love. Independence is attractive and people will respect you when they see that you are fully independent.
• Don’t wait for opportunities to come to you. Go out and make your own opportunities, take classes in hobbies and other things that interest you, learn a new skill, and diversify your interests.
• Volunteer your time. Whether you work with the homeless or some local charity, volunteering your time shows other people that you are a giving person. They will also see that you care about worthwhile local causes and that you are not self-centered.
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