Secret that drove my fiancee away: Heartbreak, I’ve learned, comes in all shapes and sizes but never fails to knock you back down to reality and remind you of just how much you’re missing. I guess that’s why I couldn’t stand the pain of Alyssa leaving after so many months spent together growing that bond that you know you’ll never have with anybody else.
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The understanding, the early promises of commitment, and everything else good that you seek in a perfect relationship when you think you really have one. Just the way she would curl up next to me at night and stroke my hair and remind me that the car accident that took my wife and baby so many years ago could never be replaced in my soul, but with proper love it could fade. It’s funny how something so seemingly mundane as love can make you forget things for a little while. Make you ever forget when you lost control.
I walked down the stairs that fateful morning after waking up to an empty bed, something that hadn’t happened in months and was foreign to me even in a lucid state. All the lights were off in the hallway, the kitchen was empty, no glasses on the counter to suspect that Alyssa had gotten a drink and gone on her morning run without me. Nothing seemed too far out of the ordinary yet to be setting off any alarm bells until I caught a glimpse of something that sent my stomach lurching up into my chest, knocking the sanity right out of me in those very seconds. The basement door was open just a crack. Keys in the door. So she’d had a late night investigation as a result of…what? Not being able to sleep? In seconds, I was running to the door and calling her name, waiting for the shitstorm of a century to follow.
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