8 things guys go through when they’re heartbroken (That they’d never openly admit to)

3. Fucking anyone that smiles at us.

After a breakup our standards get really lax. That annoying girl at the bar who won’t shut up about her English major kinda sorta vaguely looks like Scarlett Johansson all of a sudden. We listen to her laud Bukowski and trample Plath, thinking only, “She has a really good point.. no, wait, that’s just her hand on my thigh.”