6. The Worst Sex
Assuming that no one would marry their high school sweetheart if they were awful at sex, though they wouldn’t have much to compare it to, Mr. and Mrs. Smith will miss out on the worst sex of their lives. One may say that they would happily miss out on this one but it serves not only as a lesson of what one should not to do in bed but also as a great anecdote to tell your friends. Whether he or she is on top of you like a jackhammer, or he or she is lying there like a dead fish, it’s sex that you would never willingly repeat, unless, for some reason, you already finished the new season of House of Cards and no one else answers your text – but that’s another story. The silver lining of experience the worst sex of your life is that it’s all uphill from here. Mr. and Mrs. Smith won’t get the pleasure of knowing it’s uphill but rather that it will be status quo from 16 on.
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