5. Commit To Being The Best Version Of Yourself
Repeated time and time again throughout our research was that good sex in a long-term relationship is inseparable from the rest of the relationship – how you treat each other day to day, how connected or disconnected you feel from one another and, most importantly, how you each take care of yourself both physically and mentally. Because while you don’t get divorced because one of you gains weight, a lack of regard for your appearance can easily turn into a long period of self-decline that becomes more than just physical.
“Male here, I don’t know for sure, but I believe that a few years ago my wife lost her attraction to me,” writes this anonymous Redditor. “I gained weight, up to 200lbs, and lost a little confidence. Intimacy and sex dwindled. Since then, I’ve completed college, I’m a helicopter pilot, and I go to the gym daily. I’ve dropped down to 155lbs, my body looks the best it ever has: abs, biceps, pecs…I’ve managed to get myself into great shape. I also now have confidence in spades due to my looks and my career. She sometimes can’t keep her hands off me, which feels great.
Conversely, she gained some weight herself for a time, and I didn’t realise until she started shedding the weight that I [had become] less attracted to her. Suddenly noticing that your significant other is getting sexier…well, it sure made me want to sex my wife up constantly. I’m more attracted to her now than I ever have been.”
Another Redditor, that_how_it_be, discusses how a healthy sex life starts outside the bedroom:
“I think our healthy and satisfying sex life stems from more than just sex though. A lot of it comes from stability with our living situation, taking care of ourselves, low stress, etc. We enjoy similar things and we go out of our way to spend time with each other. Overall our levels of happiness are pretty high and that has a lot to do with it.”
The best thing for your well-being and sex life is to do whatever it takes to be the best version of you. Make healthy food choices, exercise regularly and do the inner work. Get in touch with who you are and what you want from your life. You’ll walk into the bedroom confident, and that will turn your partner on.
How do you keep the sex hot in your long-term relationship?
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