“Golden Rules” of having sex with your ex – Play by these rules for a super-hot blast from the past. Hooking up with your ex is like passing by your neighborhood Starbucks: It’s there and it’s familiar, so why wouldn’t you pop in for a little something hot?
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On the other hand, it’s kind of a potential minefield. There are feelings to consider, and oh yeah, the fact that you broke up might be a good reason to stay away.
Still, licensed clinical psychologist Ramani Durvasula, Ph.D., author of Should I Stay Or Should I Go?, says there can be perks to sex with an ex. “It’s familiar, and you know what works, so it may be satisfying,” she says. “And if you have not had other partners since your breakup and you knew each other’s sexual health status before, it may be more safe than hooking up with a stranger.”
Of course, you should proceed with caution before jumping into anything with an ex, but hopping into a sexual time machine can be fun.
Durvasula offers up a few tips on making sex with an ex work…plus a few things you probably want to avoid:
Definitely…
1. Manage your expectations and his
This is just about sex, nothing more, says Durvasula, so you need to keep it real with your ex.
You can make that clear by saying something like, “We may not be right for a relationship, but I am still attracted to you and would love to share that part of our relationship again.” (Of course, he might still want something more, in which case you’ll want to shut it down.)
Be honest with yourself about your goal, too: Are you looking for a little release, or are you trying to actually recreate something? If it’s the latter, do not pass go.
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