When you love your husband but hate having sex – Hope is not lost. You love him, you want to show him … but you’ve lost all desire for sex.
Your ability to get aroused has just completely turned off and, as a result, you’re starting to actually hate sex (and avoid it at all costs).
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The desire to have sex and then physically loving it when you do is often easily lost in a loving partnership. Many times, that shift from having regular hot sex to no sex happens suddenly in a marriage. And that shift usually causes major shifts in your attitude toward you husband (and not for the better).
So, what the heck is going on?
So many things can negatively affect your sex drive: body/hormonal changes, stress, and other daily obligations that demand your attention. This sudden halt in your lovey-dovey desire can quickly drive a wedge in your relationship, even when you truly love him.
When you start to ‘hate sex’, it’s common to push your husband away because you don’t want to address the subject, you feel awkward and embarrassed.
The conversation seems tough because you don’t want him to misinterpret your lack of sexual interest as the end of your relationship or rejection. You don’t want to hurt him, yet you don’t want to fake feeling turned on when you’re not.
You feel that you must show him that you love him with sex, BUT you feel completely turned off and sexually dried up. Your juices are not flowing AT ALL. Which makes you fear he’ll look elsewhere, which just compounds your stress and shuts you down sexually even more.
So what can you DO when you find yourself hating sex?
Rest assured, even though loathing sex seems impossible to change, there are powerful, helpful things you can do to ease back into the juicy flow of lovemaking.
Sex is woven into the fabric of our lives and it carries a lot of baggage, so there are mental and emotional things you may need to resolve before you crave sex again. In fact, addressing these things can positively shift you (your mind and your body) so dramatically that you end up enjoying sex more than you ever expected possible.
Although your resistance to sex feels insurmountable now — you may feel totally repulsed by sex at this point — it’s important for you to make an internal decision about whether you’re willing to find a positive thought or feeling of connection with sex and grow from there.
If you are, here are five things you can do to overcome your resistance to sex with the man you love:
1. You must open up and talk about sex
First things first! Communication and conversation are vital to regenerating your desire for sex. Speaking up about it really does help.
The longer you block the sex conversation, avoid it, push it away, and make excuses, the harder opening up and talking about it will feel. So, time is of the essence.
Speak honestly and openly about how you feel about sex with your husband. If that doesn’t work, talk to a therapist, friend, or sexual expert. There is nothing more liberating to your sex drive than honoring your own voice.
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