Bisexual women – You may not think you’ve known a lot of bisexual women, but chances are, you have. Surveys from 2014 and 2015 conclude that as much as 4% of the U.S. population identifies as bisexual, and as women make up half the world’s population, it’s not unreasonable to assume that 2% of all Americans are bisexual women. That means roughly 6,481,879.1 Americans are bisexual women–and chances are, you know at least some of them, even if you don’t think you do.
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A lot of LGBT people are closeted or don’t feel comfortable openly discussing their sexuality, and with good reason. Equality has come a long way, but there’s still a lot of stigma attached to Polysexuality. People who are attracted to more than one gender face discrimination from both straight and gay communities, and are usually ascribed personality traits that are simply not true. Straight and gay people alike often think that bisexuals “need to make up their mind” and are only in a transitional phase from straight to gay. People also tend to believe that bisexuals are “partiers” who have a lot of sex and are more likely to cheat on their partners. None of these stereotypes are true of the bisexual community, but oftentimes people let their preconceived notions take control.
When you interact with bisexual women, you may be unaware of your own preconceived notions about bisexuality directing the conversation. While you certainly don’t mean to offend or upset these women, your unknowing microaggressions can discourage and repel them. Because not all bisexual women are comfortable talking about it, and because you don’t want to upset the bisexual women in your life, here is a list of 20 things bisexual women want you to know.
20. They Don’t Want To Have A Threesome
This is one of the most common–and most problematic–stereotypes about bisexual women. Just because they are attracted to more than one gender does not mean they want to have threesomes all the time, or even at all. Women in general very rarely want to have threesomes, and bi women are no different. Bisexual women dread getting on dating apps because it’s only a matter of time before a couple propositions them. Bi women are hesitant to be open about their sexuality even in person because many of them can, and will be, propositioned by their own friends. What’s upsetting is that this is especially prevalent with women; bisexual men are not propositioned for threesomes nearly as often.
And sure, there are plenty of bisexuals out there who enjoy threesomes, but there are many more who would never even consider it. So please, if you and your girlfriend decide you want to get freaky, do not proposition your “Token Bi Friend.” She will not appreciate it.
19. It Isn’t Just A Phase
LGBT people are often told that their sexuality or gender identity is just a phase they will grow out of. This is especially true while in college; women are expected to have their “slutty college years” where they “get it out of their system.” While it’s true that a lot of women do experiment and explore their sexuality during college, and that many of them only become romantically involved with men after they graduate, it’s not just a phase. Some women experiment and find that dating women just isn’t their thing, or that they aren’t as attracted to women as they thought they were. This doesn’t make them temporarily bi, it just means they’re questioning. A lot of women also find that while they are definitely attracted to more than one gender, they are put under limitations in the adult world that they did not have in college; it’s one thing to date girls in college, but it’s quite another to date a woman when you work for a conservative but highly regarded company that will make or break your future.
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