4. Don’t badmouth the toxhole to your kids.
It’s tempting, that’s for sure. Toxholes are full of anger and contempt for you, and likely will try to undermine what you do at every turn. They are also the other parent of your child. Your kids should not be asked to choose between you, no matter the circumstance.
Instead, if asked, use words like “trying to gain cooperation” and “working on it,” to describe how you approach your ex. Let the kids know they can always come to you with their questions and concerns.
If a situation arises in which they tell you the toxhole is speaking badly about you, tell the kids not to worry and that you will manage it. Allow them to let go of the burden and be children.
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