5. Get help.
Staying neutral, calm, unflappable and present for your children will likely take more energy, some days, than you have. You are a human being and deserve to be treated like one. The toxhole will never do that, however, no matter how much logic or kind reassurance you try.
Instead, you must look to other places for the validation and support you deserve. Although friends and family may provide some of it, the constant nature of the toxhole’s terrible behavior may be exhausting for them too.
Find a professional, a therapist or coach, specializing in stress and trauma, to help. If the situation is so extreme that your children are adversely impacted, which is not unusual with a toxhole, you may need a lawyer who can help you consider options around legal and physical custody too.
It’s not you, it’s them, and no matter your failures in the relationship, neither you nor the children deserve the toxhole’s constant berating, anger and lack of cooperation. It can get better. Don’t be afraid to ask for the help you need.
Source: Yourtango
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