5. Tell your wife (me), “I know how you feel.”
Here’s what I’d tell him…
“I love you, honey, and I think I now have a deeper insight into why you do these things, which are minor but annoying. I get it. It’s hard to be a guy; you’re raised to be tough and not express your emotions. So instead, you fall asleep, talk too much, play games on your phone — or even leave the room.
Trapped in your insecurities, you’re detaching… checking out. And yet, this is the time when I’m most vulnerable and in a fragile, hormone-induced emotional state, and what I crave most from my partner is connection.”
And then I’d add: “I know that guys are human, too, which qualifies them to have emotions and reach out for help and support. But just do that before I go into labor, okay? That way, when I really, really need you, all of you will be available.”
Next, I’d sit him down by the crackling fireplace, and looking deep into his apprehensive eyes, I’d say, “Honey, next time, just talk to me. Please share your fears before the very last minute, so we can address them before the baby arrives and find creative solutions together.
When you talk about a problem, it opens the door for a solution. And if you have to consult with someone else — a positive, empowering friend, your uncle Steve, our rabbi, or even a mental health professional — that’s fine, too. Hey, why not? It takes courage to ask for help;vulnerability is a sign of power.”
And then I’d softly kiss the birthmark on his neck, rubbing my cheek against his, falling in love all over again with this man — my man — who’s granted me the best gift ever: my baby.
And I’d let him know that he has my deep appreciation for enduring all my mood swings and eccentric demands, and for his valor, patience and commitment to sharing this profound experience with me.
For as we both face our fears and overcome them, it brings us closer together. And what better gift can we give to our brand new child?
Source: Yourtango
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