The guy you’re falling for – NOT ok. There is nothing quite like someone saying too much, too soon. At root, it is a total turn-off. What are the ways that people overshare? All of them have to do with emotional needs, and you’ll see what I mean in a moment.
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Do people know they’re oversharing when they’re doing it? Do they realize that they are revealing too much to someone they don’t really know well, or are they just caught up in the moment?
Men and women who overshare early in dating do it out of anxiety. They may be anxious about many different things, but they are anxious nonetheless. Your date may feel anxious about whether you will be attracted to them; whether you will think they are successful enough; whether you think they are interesting enough; and so on. Even though they may not seem anxious when you are with them, trust me: they are anxious under the surface.
Most men and women who overshare are aware that they are getting deep quickly, but they want to seal the deal with you and they do this by forcing emotional intimacy that really shouldn’t be there early in a relationship. They try to concretize a connection with you, and they believe that revealing a lot very early will make you want to get closer to them and will make your connection or relationship stronger.
In essence, you can probably read between the lines and guess what my ultimate position on the issue is. If you start dating someone and they overshare in the first couple weeks of the relationship, you should probably move on and look for someone who uses more caution and better emotional judgment.
If your new date overshares in any of the following ways, beware…
1. Oversharing about past relationships
Early in dating, you should reveal very little about your past relationships. Sharing details about what your ex did or why the relationship ended is way too much, too soon. People who overshare about an ex or exes come across as defensive, critical, or angry. Most of all, they come across as if they’re still hung up on or preoccupied with that situation.
When you start a relationship, you want to feel like you and the person you’re with are starting fresh. Oversharing about an ex smears the past all over the present.
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