Day 2: Choose one thing about yourself to change that will make your partner happier.
By now, your partner knows who you are and what you aren’t. They know what irritates you more than anything else, how you like your coffee, and can identify that look that means “don’t talk to me right now.” And they also know what about you irritates them the most.
Whatever those things are, Geter says to give them your attention and figure out if there’s something you can change, alter, or stop doing. While you (obviously!) should never completely transform who you are, if there is something that you could be doing better or differently, why not just do it?
“If you know your spouse enjoys hugs more than anything in the world, make a conscious decision to hug him 1 to 3 times daily for the next week. If he’s always complaining about caring for the pets, make the decision to take charge of daily dog walks and feedings for the next week,” Geter suggests.
In return, ask your husband to do the same. Maybe that’s taking out the trash without being asked. Or bringing you home flowers like he used to. The point is that you’re erasing the small irritations that often cause a lot of fights. “After a week, sit down and talk about what those gestures meant to each of you,” Geter says.
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