3. You compare past partners to your present partner.
This is another mixed bag, like having expectations.
It’s helpful if you remember how good or bad you felt with a particular type of partner, and if that keeps you from letting go or latching on to a particular partner.
On the other hand, comparisons can be harmful if you’ve kept an idealized picture of a previous lover, and no one can live up to how wonderful they were. If your ego sees your partner as a “fill in” until the “right partner” comes along, or fears that you’ve been shortchanged, you won’t be truly open to what this person has to offer.
Take an hour or so and write down five lessons you’ve learned from past relationships to refer to any time you are considering an emotional involvement. IF you’re going to compare, do it so you remember what it takes for you to be fulfilled.
Don’t settle for less unless you are clear why you are doing so, and are willing to live with the consequences.
Discussion about this post