4. References
Although kink negotiation isn’t really a job interview, I still consider it important to check with people who your potential partner has played with. Good references are a sign that this person is a safe player and is trustworthy. Of course, nobody is everyone’s cup of tea, but use your judgment.
If the person can’t provide a reference, it could be because they’ve recently moved to a new community, or they’ve never played with someone before. Neither of these is a bad thing, as long as you listen to your gut. Approach playing with this person more cautiously than you would with a more experienced person, and give yourself permission to stop the negotiation if you feel it’s the right thing to do. (Of course, you can stop the negotiation, like any scene, at any time. Being in a negotiation process doesn’t require you to finish it.)
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