5. Emotional triggers
Kinky play isn’t always just about the physical part. Sometimes, emotional triggers come into play and can completely wreck a scene.
Here’s an example: I don’t consider breath play a hard limit, but it’s an emotional trigger for me because of my father’s suicide by hanging. So if a partner is interested in choking me, they must know about this and approach with caution. I usually don’t do breath play with partners I don’t know, but I feel it’s important for them to know about this potentially damaging emotional trigger.
It’s really important not to neglect emotional triggers in your negotiation. So many good scenes have been wrecked by a wrong word or action that the person had no idea would trigger that person. If you can inform them in advance, they’ll be able to make the scene as safe and fun as possible for you.
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