8. Safewords
All right, now you have a good idea of what each partner wants and expects. But sometimes you need to stop a scene for whatever reason, so it’s really important to establish a safeword. As a beginner, the classic traffic light system works well: “green” for “all is fine,” “yellow” for “slow down, check in with me,” and “red” for “FULL STOP NOW.”
If there are plans for gagging, you should also establish a nonverbal communication system that’ll let your partner know you need to stop the scene and speak. This can be done with hand signs or leaving a bell or a ball in your hand and dropping it if you need to stop. Find whatever works for you, as long as your partner understands the sign.
SAFEWORDS ARE VERY IMPORTANT. I cannot stress this enough. ALWAYS HAVE A SAFEWORD. In a public play space, there might be a general safeword that you can use to call a Dungeon Monitor to your scene. DMs intervene for the safety of all players, and may come in if they believe that your scene is not safe, even if you haven’t called a safeword.
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