Let’s use John and James’ story to understand this point. So John just started seeing Blessing who is not a virgin, after a few days of dating, they both do the nasty. She has done the nasty before and he also has experience. They both bring their external experiences together to make a mind blowing sexual adventure. James on the other hand is seeing the shy, and reserved Kemi who is a virgin. Sex comes up and she shrugs him off. After sometimes, it comes up again, she agrees to try it but is scared. He has to “talk” her through it.
Tell her it’s going to be okay. Makes sure she doesn’t hurt. Makes sure he takes it easy with her. Makes her feel comfortable. Tries it the first time, she cries and stops. Tries it a week after, same result. After a dozen trials, she finally gets comfortable but with her lack of experience, sex for James is boring and uneventful.
John is enjoying his love life and his sex life while James is struggling on both ends of the rope.
They meet and while discussing, John asks James,
“why all all stress?”