If you want your relationship to last forever – Couples who have successful relationships tend to share a few important qualities. Considering the number of articles and blogs written about marriage, love, and lasting relationships, one thing is clear: people crave answers, direction, and help.
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The couples I see every day ask the same questions: “How can we get through this? Is it possible to salvage what we once had? How can we make sure we don’t lose it again?”
Although there’s not one magical answer (if only!), couples who do have successful relationships tend to share a few important qualities.
If you can nurture these aspects with your partner, you’ll have a strong foundation for a long and happy union:
1. They try to honestly make up.
What happens after (or even during) a fight? Do you tend to dig in your heels until you “win,” or do you try to find a way to de-escalate the tension so you can get on the other side of it? If it’s the latter, good for you!
Relationship expert John Gottman calls these efforts “repair attempts.” Not only are they crucial for any successful relationship, they’re also pretty simple, too.
They might be a question or statement like “May I take that back?” or “Let me try again” or “I’m sorry I spoke so harshly.” Or an attempt can be a request, such as “Please be more gentle with me.”
These simply work. When we approach our partner with kindness, even in the difficult moments, it relieves the tension and allows for a greater conversation to take place.
By taking a second to step outside of the fight and connect in a real way, you instantly send a message that you truly care about the other person’s feelings.
You aren’t just in the conversation waiting for your turn to reply. This act speaks volumes. Your ability to listen and respect your partner’s position, even if it’s different from yours, will help heal the rift.
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