And so watching porn made sense to me in a way it never had before. The fantasy, the real fantasy, was a world free of rejection, from the tired trope of the guy who wants sex more than his girlfriend does. I felt bad about it, to be honest, as much as I loved him, why did he have to suffer these feelings that he was somehow not enough?
By personality, I am a maximizer. I am the kind of girl with checkmarks and to-do lists and the one who breaks her New Year’s resolutions into “action items.” So I took this sort-of imbalance in our sex life as a challenge — what kind of system could we get on that would work for both of us? Also See: I found an iPhone on the ground and what I found in its photo gallery terrified me..
The very first thing to do was to switch places. If our sex life was currently running solely on Adrienne-time we needed to switch it to Boyfriend-time, at least to try it and see what it was like. So we decided that for one week, we would do just that. We would be running our relationship on his biological frequency instead of mine. I could try anything for a week. Boyfriend was too cautious to be excited, as if I would change my mind if he showed too much enthusiasm.
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