We know you broads think any blow job is a good blow job. That guys are just happy you’re there, putting the d!ck in your mouth.But if that were the case, we’d get blow jobs from other dudes who have the equipment and know what feels good and what doesn’t. Some broad recently wrote an article about five kissing mistakes that guys make, which seems to insinuate only men do certain shitty things when they kiss and women don’t when, in fact, a bad kisser is a bad kisser regardless of gender.
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The blow job, however, is another story. When it comes to kissing, men and women both have lips and therefore most of us know how to use them. But women don’t have dicks, so it’s not uncommon to find one who thinks she’s gnawing on a corn cob instead of handling a delicate instrument of pleasure.
In worst case scenarios, there will be a jerk, a shriek of pain or a swift palm strike to the side of your head if you’re really a hack. In less extreme instances, you’ll just be deemed unsatisfactory as a sexual partner, your number will be lost and you’ll be forgotten about.
So, consider this our public service announcement.
1. The Shaft Scraper
The biggest mistake a woman can make and will immediately get her added to the do not call list is being too toothy. Any contact of the teeth with the penis is unacceptable. The worst is when you scrape your teeth up and down the shaft.
Open your damn mouth wide enough to keep your teeth out of the equation. We know it isn’t comfortable or normal, but you’ll get used to it. When you do, you’ll learn that you’ll be able to make friends and influence people much better than before.