Nothing could be simpler than getting residency in Paraguay. Probably thanks to its terminal obscurity, the government seems desperate to get as many people into the landlocked South American nation as possible. As a result, there’s only one hard and fast requirement. You need to deposit money in a Paraguayan bank. A small amount won’t do, but you don’t have to go too big. Around 35 times the monthly minimum wage is the accepted sum (between $4,500-$5,500 USD). Once you’ve done that, Paraguay is your oyster.
Of course, whether that oyster contains a pearl or just a lump of grit depends heavily on what you’re looking for in your new home. Paraguay is so obscure that it has neighbors who have never heard of it. Try telling the average American you’re moving to Paraguay, and they’ll assume you’ve mispronounced Uruguay (who are we kidding? They’ll think you’ve mispronounced New Jersey). Of the 6 million or so people who live there, at least half of them probably pretend they’re from Argentina. It’s a poor, underdeveloped country surrounded by bigger, way more developed countries. Still, at least it’s cheap.
Like the hippy younger sibling to America’s hard-working grownup, Canada always takes a contrary liberal stance to the USA. That includes on immigration. While America is currently experimenting with making immigration as unattractive as possible, Canada is casting its arms open wide to the surrounding world. Luckily, that includes to you, provided you can prove you’re worth having. Canada’s immigration rules run the gamut from excessively liberal to utterly draconian, depending entirely on how skilled you are.
For those with the skills or education level that Canada needs, there’s an express entry program that’s so swift, it probably amounts to kidnapping. You fill in an online form, which assigns you points for stuff like education level, industries worked in, and whether you are both able to speak French, and willing to put with living in Quebec (of course we’re kidding, Quebecers. Just look at the city you guys get to call your capital!). If you hit a high score on these, plus other stuff like whether you studied in Canada or have Canadian relatives, you’re probably in. All you gotta do next is pony up about $500 CAD ($390 in real dollars).
But what if you’re an uneducated, unwashed slob? Well, there may be hope. Canada has one of the highest proportions of foreign-born citizens in the OECD. Why shouldn’t they take you too?