Embattled wife who married husband with the hope that she’ll love him with time seeks advice following disappointment
A distressed Nigerian lady, whose name was not been revealed, is seeking advice on what to do about her marriage, which was founded on the fanciful maxim, “Marry him, and the love will grow.”
The lady, who sought advice from a public discussion forum, revealed that she had never loved her husband prior to their marriage and had only agreed to marry him for the prospect of financial security.
Noting that she was advised to marry the man by people who promised her that the love will grow with time, the embattled lady lamented that the reverse is now the case.
Her story reads:
“You see this marry him, the love will grow bullshit, it doesn’t work for most people. Let’s say it’s actually “marry him, you’ll up your pretence game as time goes on”. I’m writing to you because I don’t keep friends and don’t believe in telling people deep things about me, hence why I’m posting this anonymously.
I won’t categorically say I was forced into this marriage, nah! I wasn’t. I went into it with my korokoro eyes. Though I had doubts about the “love will grow” aspect. So I asked questions. People convinced me that good men or men that love you are rare. See I’m there now and all I can say is that, love from one person isn’t enough. The person will definitely be drained, even if they don’t notice.
Asides love, I’m not even attracted to this guy. I’m attracted to guys with huge body frame and he’s the exact opposite. When I was single I used to tell my friends that spec thing doesn’t exist, it’s just fallacy. Hehehehe! E don sup!. See better marry your spec.
There is this post that trended some days back. It said….” Dating someone you don’t find attractive, when they annoy you, you are more pissed at the audacity than their actual offence.”It’s so true.
I’ve always been a one girl, one guy type of person. Not like I even hoed around sef. I just ate and visited fun places alot with my female friends. Had sex just thrice as a single girl, but I’m not sexually attracted to my husband. When I was dating someone else before him, I would never stare at another guy twice talk more of Giving my number. But now, I find myself Randomly checking guys out! Even his friends. Hey Oluwa oh! Me? Abi ashawo dey my eye before and I didn’t know? Lol. I was never this way people of God.
Now, I strongly believe that as humans, we only LOVE once. I mean loving wholeheartedly, without keeping anything back, without any fears. I just think it happens once. Then if the person serves you breakfast, other people coming will just be vibes.
people coming will just be vibes and inshallah. My own first love, his family said they don’t want an outsider, it must be within their community.So both him and his family messed up, we had to end it.
Now, I’ve been married for some years now, my husband is always thanking God for his beautiful family. Tor! It’s beautiful to him na! When he’s enjoying fine wife and fine puna! Na me f up sha. I could have jejely remained single and waited for my spec. Make both of us dey thank God for beautiful home together. I also fault my parents too, when they abandon you at age 20 to fend for yourself, and even give to them, you’ll likely get biased when someone comes with financial security and some things you can’t provide for yourself legitimately at that stage of your career no matter how you struggle.
I need advice sincerely, because All my life I’ve been a risk taker. And I’m about taking the risk of telling my husband everything I just told you guys now. I don’t have kids yet. I want to be happy genuinely, this life na once, I can’t live mine pretending. Even if it means me working hard and paying him back the money he has spent or whatever sha, I don’t mind. But I WANT TO BE HAPPY AGAIN.”