8. Jägermeister
You’re in your twenties now so you can be selective about your alcohol purchases. No longer must you chug through whatever crap you bought off your older neighbor. So you get sophisticated, you learn of aperitifs, digestifs, and liqueurs. One day you come across an exceptionally-civilized elixir from the Germans named Jägermeister.
It is black and gooey and when you sip upon it you are taken by forces unknown, and circumstances and activities ensue of which you have no control over. At some point your innocent self awakens surrounded by all manner of obscurities, at which point you conclude you must have been drugged.
So in your fragile state you go to your doctor and explain the horror that you have gone through and the doctor goes shuffling through his desk drawer and surfaces with a bottle of Jägermeister and asks “Is this who did it to you?” You break into tears and the doctor comforts you and gives you the name of a good shrink.
Then next weekend someone shouts “Jäeger!?” And before you know it, the gloopy, venomous temptress has enveloped you again.
Discussion about this post