6. Or, he won’t let you near his phone
Helen, a married mom with a toddler son, says her husband never had a password on his phone because their child loved accessing the fun apps. All of a sudden that changed, and when Helen asked for the four-digit code, her husband declined and typed it in privately. Red flag alert! “Something is definitely wrong,” says Laurie Puhn, JD, a couples mediator in private practice in New York City and author of the book Fight Less, Love More: 5-Minute Conversations to Change Your Relationship without Blowing Up or Giving In. Passwords should be shared in a marriage; there are random times when you need the phone number for the plumber and it’s in your husband’s phone or email account, or you need to check an e-receipt that was sent to your husband. “It’s not that you need a list of his passwords, but should you ask for one—for a legitimate reason—he should give it to you,” says Puhn. This should not be a big deal. By not telling you the code, your spouse may be admitting to a secret of some sort.
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