5. Euron Greyjoy makes his case
Euron Greyjoy, Theon’s murderous uncle, does indeed sail in with his kraken-decorated fleet, and let’s just say he and the Lannisters don’t become fast friends. Jaime thinks the Ironborn are “bitter, angry little people,” and he’s surely right. Euron tries to strut his best stuff in front of the Iron Throne and blame Theon and Yara (“murdering them would make me feel a lot better”), but both Jaime and Cersei can’t help but reveal that they think he’s a giant idiot. Euron praises Jaime’s slaughter of Euron’s own relatives and dismisses his native Iron Islands as “nothing but rocks and bird shit and a number of very unattractive people.” But then he promises Cersei a priceless gift, and gaaah, it better not be Tyrion.
Best line: Euron, proposing to Cersei and dissing Jaime at the same time: “So here I am, with a thousand ships, and two good hands.”
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