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Words that will connect you with anyone – Every magician has more than one good trick up his sleeve, and now one of them is choosing to share some of the secrets that will help you get what you want on the job.
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When you were a kid, your mom probably asked you to say the “magic word” when requesting something. You quickly found out that saying “please” could get you what you wanted.
But Tim Davis, a professional magician and communications expert, says there are actually seven magic words backed up by science that can help you persuade, influence and engage others. By knowing the right thing to say, you’ll be able to get your team to perform better and get others to make concessions when negotiating. He says it’s a technique he has taught to companies such as 3M and Burger King.
Davis outlines the seven magic words in his book, “Magic Words”:
1. Yes. He says it’s important to remember when you’re negotiating, arguing or making a sales pitch, it’s important you get to “yes” as soon as possible.
“Saying yes at the beginning of an interaction eases tension, creates rapport and opens minds,” he says. He explains that in every interaction, you are being judged in two phases. The first phase is highly emotional, illogical and often unfair. This is the phase that puts you into one of four buckets: “good, “bad,” “sexy,” or “boring.” Boring is usually the default setting, because “we can’t possibly be interested in everybody,” so the brain quickly categorizes people into the buckets. That’s why “good” and “sexy” move into phase two, while “bad” and “boring” get left behind, he explains.
Further, a “yes” gives you your best chance of getting placed into the “good” bucket, he says. “Since the first phase takes only seconds to complete, the kind of ‘yes’ you’ll have to use is largely non-verbal. A smile, mirroring body language and tonality, etc.,” he explains.
By finding something to agree upon with the other person, you can stop arguments from getting out of control. For example, offering a “you’re right” can ease tensions and help keep the conversation going, he says.
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