Finding a great relationship: What makes the perfect man or the perfect woman? The answer varies for everyone, although there are some universal traits that almost anyone would appreciate in a partner. They should be attractive (and what makes a person good-looking also wildly varies), compassionate, communicative, have a good sense of humor, possess ambition in life, and not be financially destroyed.
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If you go into dating with a short list like that, you may still struggle for a while to find someone who ticks off all the boxes. If you start nitpicking over smaller details though, you’ll be scoping dating partners at the local bar or online even longer.
When someone doesn’t quite meet your tailored description, we tend to call these unwanted attributes dealbreakers. Just like almost everyone wants the shining qualities in a partner as mentioned above, most people have quite similar dealbreakers, like excessive smoking, drinking, cussing, gambling, or other ways of recklessly spending money. However, if you go out with a man and decide it won’t work out because he has a cat and you love dogs or you see a woman and rule her out because she’s a vegan and you couldn’t imagine giving up meat, you could miss out on a lot of very interesting people.
That’s not to say that you can’t be picky to an extent. It’s better to have preferences, which can be flexible, than strict and rigid dealbreakers, which have no room for malleability. You shouldn’t date someone who you’re not attracted to or who doesn’t treat you well just because you don’t want to cling too tightly to dealbreakers. Just keep these silly ones in mind the next time you gear up for a date.
12. Their Quirks
We’ve got news for you. Everyone has quirks. Everyone. Are some more pronounced than others? Yes, absolutely. However, everyone has them. Just because you don’t see someone’s strange little eccentricities on the first date doesn’t mean that they don’t exist. Spend enough time with someone—anyone—and you’ll see what truly makes them, them. Even the person of your dreams will have an interesting peculiarity or two.
These little idiosyncrasies are what make us unique. Unless your date has a really bad habit like chewing on ice, smacking their lips, or talking too loud, there’s no reason to disqualify someone from a second or third date just because you noticed one of their little weird habits earlier than you might have someone else. Just remember before you judge too harshly that you too have your own rituals and practices that may seem alien to somebody else.
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