2. Your relationship felt competitive
If a man has to compete with a woman for control of the relationship, he not only feels inadequate, but also like there’s no place for his masculinity in his woman’s life.
Keep this in mind: it’s very important.
This isn’t to say that a man should control the entire relationship, that’s unfair to both parties. Rather, a successful relationship has complementary forces where each person relinquishes control in certain areas. If this doesn’t happen, both parties end up in competition — both compete to win and, in the end, the relationship loses. This dynamic shows up in scenarios like these:
- In a social context with friends! Did the two of you get in arguments about who was “right” in front of friends?
- Financially, who is the breadwinner? Did you make more money than him? And more importantly, was it ever brought up in a way that emasculated him?
- Relationally, did you constantly make the decisions in the relationship? Where to eat, what fun things to do, or what movies to attend?
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If he felt like you were against him instead of for him, he never felt fully capable of opening his heart because he was afraid of losing the “game” and getting hurt.
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