6. Help Me Feel Manly & Competent

Marty Klein, author of Sexual Intelligence: What We Really Want From Sex & How to Get It, told Salon, “I find from my practice that what a lot of people really want is emotional satisfaction; sometimes it has to do with the connection with their partner and sometimes it has to do with their own sense of themselves. What a lot of people want from sex is to feel youthful, graceful, manly, normal, adequate, or competent.”

“Men tend to be sexually dominant and that’s not necessarily a bad thing,” says Solin. “That doesn’t mean one of you is better that the other. You can still be equals.”