7. How much sex does he want?: He doesn’t need to spill all his kinks ASAP (although if you know about and are okay with each one, that’s great). But you should definitely know how often he likes to have sex and, to be blunt, whether you excel at getting each other off. “As a sex therapist for 15-plus years in New York City, I’ve seen it all,” says Fleming. “It’s important that you find out how important sex is to both of you because the reality is there’s a huge range.” The longer you’re in a committed relationship, the harder it’ll be to work up the break-the-bed desire that seems so easy in the beginning. “It’s about finding the time, energy, and level of desire that works for both of you,” says Fleming.
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