Signs your partner is possessive – Your partner storms across the cocktail party. You’ve chuckled at a joke and the fit hotty across from you places a hand on your shoulder. You see your partner’s eyes burning into the hand and a shot of anxiety surges up your spine.
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Some of us live for relationships. Companionship. Intimacy. Someone to talk to. Maybe even a few home-cooked meals to boot. What’s not to love?
Funny thing about Princess stories, they never end with Prince Charming going ballistic — throwing a tantrum because Princess laughed at someone else’s joke, perusing Princess’ texts and emails, showing up unannounced at her doctor’s appointments, and scarring her for life with emotional abuse.
Sex, companionship, and poison. Anyone?
A possessive partner can damage our perception of reality, and destroy our self-confidence. Even though they cause serious harm, their toxic behavior is often subtle initially and hard to detect.
Some jealousy in a relationship is instinctual. Biological impulses rooted in evolution make us prone to mate-guarding — using flirtatious ploys to distract our partners from other prospective sexual options. Nothing wrong with a little showing off.
Harmful jealousy on the other hand stems from insecurity. Once you know what you’re looking for, it’s easy to recognize. Someone with a poor sense of self is most at risk of developing possessive habits in a relationship. Such a person often believes they are incapable of attracting a partner as favorable as their present one. In a state of panic and fear, they employ manipulative behavior to protect their relationship.
Do yourself a favor — If you suspect your partner has possessive tendencies, keep a lookout for the following ten tell-tale signs of jealousy, disrespect, manipulation, and irresponsibility.
10. They dehumanize their exes
When you meet someone new and have “that” conversation, where you review how long ago they were coupled, and generally get a feel for how things ended, watch out for hyper-negativity. All of us criticize our exes, but if your partner talks about their ex as though the person is sub-human, be on the lookout!
Possessive people have a desire to maintain control in their relationships. When they lose control, they attempt to establish superiority by undermining the intelligence, attractiveness, and sanity of their counterpart with criticism according to Andrea Bonior of Psychology Today.
Don’t be fooled if your partner presents harsh criticisms of an ex as a compliment to you. While demeaning an ex, your partner may say something to the effect of, “But you would never behave in such a way, because you have class.” Another common phrasing is, “You’re so much smarter than my ex, I can’t believe I spent so much time with that idiot!” Also, “You’re a 10, my ex wasn’t even very good looking.”
Before you bask in the glory of compliments such as these, ask yourself what kind of a person would blatantly demean someone they’ve dated.
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