1. Selfies
Most of these ’15 Likely Douche Things’ have exceptions, however, this one has no exceptions. If you have purchased a selfie stick, there are no ifs ands or buts about it— you are suffering from a full-blown case of total douche.
Taking selfies of yourself for Facebook or Instagram implies that you are either self conscious and fishing for ‘likes’ or you are vain and looking for ‘likes’ to affirm you are looking good. A selfie every once in awhile for your profile picture is fine but…. um.. sometimes people don’t seem to realize that if someone clicks on your profile picture they can see how many poses you went thru to get ‘the shot’ and how many profile picture changes you’ve done in the last 5 minutes. Seeing that someone has actually been sitting for 5 minutes staring at their own picture and analyzing every pore is kind of a big turn off.
Also, when your face looks airbrushed and has a slight ethereal quality to it, you have applied a filter. Applying a filter to a selfie that isn’t obvious (i.e. rainbow selfies to celebrate gay marriage, etc.)..is pretty darn lame. You may think people don’t notice you have applied a filter and it really is just the direction of the sun glistening off your cheekbones like the Twilight vampires but…please know that people do notice these things.
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