Things you should never say to a friend – When a pal is knee-deep in tissues and pints of Ben & Jerry’s post-breakup, it’s tough to know what to say. Even with the best intentions, you may find yourself at a loss for words, or worse, blurting out something totally lame. (Hey, have you heard of this thing called Tinder?) So we asked top relationship experts to share the top seven things you should never say to a friend trying to mend a broken heart—and what you can do to help her get back on her feet.
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1. “You should have seen this coming.”
Pointing out reasons why your friend shouldn’t be surprised by her painful breakup is probably one of the worst things you can do for her. “Avoid saying anything that could leave your friend feeling guilty, ashamed, or to blame for the split,” says Grant Brenner, M.D., a Manhattan-based psychiatrist. “She’s probably already feeling inadequate and rejected because of the failure of something she most likely spent a great deal of time and energy trying to salvage.” Instead, encourage her to take care of herself and propose activities that will make her feel better. Maybe that’s going for a walk outside or grabbing brunch. “If your friend’s being really hard on herself, one of the best remedies is distraction—and that’s where you really come in handy,” Brenner says.
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