If you’re married and unhappy – Stop waiting. I love statistics. I love being shocked by them and I get all gossipy in a “Did you know……” teeth sucking kind of way. So you can imagine the teeth sucking that was going on last week when I came across the following statistics: The majority of women remain in their marriage for an average of 5 years from the time they believe that the relationship has crossed from crisis point to dire straits.
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Add that to the statistics that between 40-50 percent of couples will end up divorced, can you imagine how many truly unhappy couples that make up that percentage?
These are couples who have lost the ability to communicate without shouting, sulking, or name calling.
How many evenings worldwide are spent in silence on the sofa either trying to avoid an argument or pleading for affection, love, or understanding? How many couples right now are dreading bed time, weekends and oh good Lord the holiday season?
If you throw into the mix the next shocker, which is that 60 percent of second marriages end in divorce, there are two horrific thoughts that struck me.
Firstly, all those five years of misery, desperation, hurt, anger, fighting, loneliness, these couples have learned nothing or not enough to change the patterns of behavior.
- They haven’t learned how to sets healthy boundaries for themselves.
- They haven’t learned what they really want from an ideal relationship or partner.
- They haven’t learned why they keep repeating these same patterns time and again.
Secondly, they recreate the same relationship in a different guise, the same problems, different wallpaper and soft furnishings and potentially another five years of misery.
Is it any wonder that if you asked any of these men and women, they would have fairly strong opinions on why relationships suck?
You’ve probably had a conversation with some of these people, and they say things like, “I’m just not cut out for marriage”, “All men are…”, and “All women ever want is…”
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