Sex life: It’s a completely different experience. When a couple decides to move forward together after one of them has had an affair, it’s a major step. It isn’t an easy process and the recovery period can test every aspect of their relationship — especially their sex lives. Getting back into the bedroom can be an essential way that a couple rebuilds their trust, but sex brings so many emotions to the table that couples need to be prepared for the new realities surrounding sex in their post-affair relationship.
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In our latest Expert video, Senior VP of YourTango Experts Melanie Gorman gathered together a panel of psychologists and counselors and asked them — if a couple is trying to restart their relationship after one of them has cheated, what’s the best advice you can give to help them in the bedroom?
Experts Dr. Eli Mayer, Sue Butler, Ian Kerner, and Lewis Brown Griggshave extensive experience on this topic and, in their wide-ranging conversation (which you can see above), they discussed the role that sex can play when a couple is trying to rebuild their bond following cheating and infidelity.
You can see their full discussion in the video, but, taken from their conversation, here are 6 things that couples need to keep in mind about sex will look like after an affair.
1. You’re not going to have the relationship you had before.
If you’re trying to move forward following an affair, it’s important to recognize that your former relationship is gone. It’s not coming back.
What you need to focus on is the new relationship that you’re going to build together, and that applies to your sex lives too. Don’t assume that you’re just to be returning to the exact same sexual relationship you had before the affair.
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