Signs you are dating a gold digger – We’re either here or there, aren’t we? You find yourself wondering if she really knows you or why she never really cares about the things you have to say. The worst part is that you actually care about this relationship and caring about something is horrible.
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Us guys just can’t ever seem to catch a break. Well, that’s why I’m gearing up to clear the fog on another social situation for the sake of good will and charity. For just five cents a day, you can help a male realize that he’s, in fact, dating a gold digger. That joke is why I’ll probably never do stand up. Anyways, upper-class men, we are so good at making the right business connections, seeing through clients, and even getting the best deals on our overly excessive luxury cars… but we are no match for a charming feline in the romantic wilderness. Robert Louis Stevenson once said, “All human beings are commingled out of good and evil.” So, basically, we’re all a mix of hero and villain. I’m here to point out the villain in your significant other and possibly save your pocket book. Take heed to these signs brethren. Actually, let me stop right there, “Gold Digger” has a female connotation and for the sake of stereotyping I kept it as such, but men are absolutely just as likely to be gold diggers. We just aren’t classy about it. Male gold diggers are just called moochers or “Stephan,” your band member boyfriend of a million years who your friends hate. Now that we got that all cleared up, let’s take this one step at a time, shall we?
12. You Find Yourself At Functions That You Don’t Belong
You’re driving down the highway after work. There’s a fleeting moment before you respond to your “bros” that you already made plans tonight with “bae” and you’re not going to be able to bar stool, tonight. Oh well, it’s only a Wednesday night, you can maybe get permission to have half a beer this Saturday with the friends she actually likes. You finally arrive at some fancy Mexican place, of which, you can only guess exists because of people like your girlfriend. After sitting down, reality finally hits, “I’m the only dude, here.” Being the only male at the table, you’ll maybe be able to fit in five words and will end up with the tab. There’s a very real chance she forced you to come just to pay for her.
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