#8 – “What’s the Big Deal?”

Many men unwittingly make the agony worse as they try to reassure their wives that the porn doesn’t mean anything.  The “it’s just pictures” comment simply reinforces the idea that their husbands chose something meaningless over them!  And, to make matters worse, the statements are invalidating.  The wife is saying “I’m so hurt I can barely stand it” and the husband is saying back “it’s not a big deal.”  What your wife needs to hear is it IS a big deal…for her and now, therefore, for you.

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