When friendships suffer
When people start looking at things in a different way or set different priorities in life, friendships start to suffer.
Sometimes, in friendship, it’s all about who’s doing what and who’s doing better. If you’re out shopping with a friend and you get a scratch card and find out that you’ve won a trip to Hawaii, of course, you’d be delighted.
But don’t expect your friend to be very happy to see you off or welcome you back. You may even have to put up with a bit of slander and bad mouthing because your friend would have told the whole world about how it was actually her card, which you pulled away! But, let’s be logical here. Deep inside, wouldn’t you be jealous and pissed off too if it was your friend who won a lottery? It’s the same thing when one friend passes out of college and gets a dream job.
What’s happened here is that one of you has suddenly got better and stepped over the emotional hierarchy between friends.
When the self confidence or morale of one person in a group goes up, especially when all friends have been equals, the others can’t help but dislike the person. When the balance tilts, the friendship tilts towards the sour side too. Friends start finding flaws and bitch about each other when the balance tilts against their favor.
You know that you’ve felt jealous, even if it was for just an instant when your best chum got something you’ve always wanted. Call it envy if you want, but really, envy is just a sugary word for a sudden involuntary burst of jealousy.
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