I failed to recognize that never being totally happy was reason enough to leave and that is, I believe, the key to deciding whether to stick it out or bail.
I’d been sticking around for the potential of what James and I could be if he kept our dates, if we worked through our sexual issues, if I could adjust to having two small children in the relationship mix. The fact that I occasionally got brief glimpses of that potential only made it harder to see that in the real world, we were going nowhere. SEE ALSO: 7-Step guide to getting the sweetest revenge on your lame Ex
I’m friends with a married couple who talk to each other almost exclusively in “Dr. Phil” lingo: continually acknowledging each other’s feelings and voicing all frustrations in careful “I” statements devoid of anger or blame. Going out to dinner with them exhausts me and I see in them what longterm involvement with James might have been an eternity of never quite getting what I want.
In the wake of my six-month non-relationship with James, I’ve adopted a 100-50 test: If I’m not 100% content in a relationship 50% of the time, it’s probably time to get out. Every relationship takes work, but that work shouldn’t be unrelenting. It’s as simple as that.
–YourTango
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