11. Sadly, They Always Bring Up Grand Tales Of When You Were Single
It’s you, a couple of pals, and your girl casually throwing back some drinks after a long day. The conversation is going great at first. She is actually laughing at what Chad has to say today and nothing more in the world could make you more happy. The conversation runs down to one of the first bachelor’s parties you’ve ever been to. Then Chad goes, “Man! That night at Dave’s Bachelor’s party… You were nuts!” Oh no, she can’t know about that. She already knows too much! You try and save the situation by highlighting that you have changed. “Yeah, back in the glory days, but those are way in the rear view now.” Then, Chad drops the bomb, “Yo! Dude, you were having to throw girls off of you!” It’s over. This always happens. One little story from your past and it’s like your current relationship resume doesn’t even deserve a date with Jocelyn Wildenstein. She’s furious with you and hates the fact that there ever was a time in your life where you were having these types of adventures with your bros.
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10. You Forgave Your Boy Too Easily
When girls fight, its an emotional boxing match that goes all the way to the twelfth round. I’d say that ninety-five percent of fights between guys end before an actual fight. The difference is that guys are absolutely more confrontational. Aggressive over passive aggressive. This is in no way saying that guys are better than girls. I’m simply pointing out that girls prefer one grand publicity driven (I say “publicity,” because women fight on mediums like Twitter) sociopolitical explosion over the simplicity of just sorting issues out when and where they happen. Once again, still not ripping on women. Guys just aren’t intelligent enough for that, nor do we have the emotional muscles necessary to deal with the constant stress of that particular flavor of social life. Since women do things differently, your girlfriend WILL NOT understand you being so “cool” with your friends. She’ll tell you that you “let them off too easy” or ask “how are you okay with that?” In this situation she’ll take on the weight and will actually carry your grudge against your pal for you. You won’t even know at first, but down the road when something happens with the same person, you can bet she’ll be the first one to remind you what happened down to the time stamp.
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