Yes, marital rape is real: How my husband raped me on our wedding night

Marital rape is real : A marriage certificate means a lot of things, but it's NOT an excuse for rape. I was sick the day of my wedding and had struggled to make it through the ceremony and the reception. Once in our room, I was struggling to keep from collapsing in a feverish heap under my dress.

More..

8 crazy photos of Cynthia Morgan that broke the internet 11 dirty secrets women keep from men 5 major causes of Vagina itching – Ladies, see this now! Top 15 most curvy actresses in Nigeria and Ghana – You need to see number 1! (With Pictures) I always imagined losing my virginity on my wedding night and I wanted the moment to be everything I'd always dreamt it would be. I loved my new husband and I wanted to give him something special, not some half-assed feverish attempt, so I told him I wanted to wait until morning.

That didn’t stop him from peeling off my white dress.

I started crying and said that I was scared, but he told me that everyone was scared on their first time.

I tried to get up, but he held me down, saying that as my husband, I needed to trust that he knew what he was doing.

I told him I wanted to wait until I felt better, but he told me that he had waited long enough.

Navigate using arrows below

I don't even remember much of what happened after the initial struggle, all I know was that one minute I was a virgin, and the next ... I wasn't. I remember sobbing. "That was awful," he spewed at me. "I can’t believe I waited all this time for that." As he wrapped his arms around me with a trap-like grip that I couldn’t escape from, his voice went from angry to stern as he said, "I'll show you what you need to do from now on, and you'll learn. You're my wife now; we're supposed to be having sex." His words came across as more of a fact than a reassurance.

SEE ALSO: 10 Romantic and unique birthday gifts that will make your man love you more!

So there we were, my virginity gone and my heart broken. I felt like I had let him down.

I felt like I had let myself down.

So many thoughts went through my head: Why couldn’t I have been one of those wives? Why did I have to ruin our first time? Why had I failed at giving him something I had planned my whole life? Why did it hurt so badly? Why was I so terrified? Why did I feel so dirty?

But I never got any better at it. "You resist too much, you cry too hard, and you aren’t any good," he would tell me every time we had sex. "I can’t even come because you are crying so effing hard, I can’t even stand to look at you," he would hiss in my face as the weight of his body crushed the air right out of my chest. "You'll need to try harder next time."

SEE ALSO: 5 Shocking facts you didn't know about sex..

I was his wife. Sex is supposed to happen in marriage. Why couldn’t I be like all the other wives? Why was I failing him so miserably? Why did the thought of him make my stomach churn and the feeling of his skin upon mine make me wish I were a million miles away?

Somewhere along the way I stopped saying no. 'No' didn’t mean anything anyways. Fighting back was fruitless and crying just made him berate me. I began to believe that I was a terrible wife and that terrible wives need their husbands to put them in their place.

It wasn’t long before I just started to fade away. Anywhere was better than where I was, and anything was better than living in my own failure. Each night, when he would climb on top of me, my body would be there but my mind drifted away to a world where he didn't exist, where I didn't exist.

SEE ALSO: 15 Dirty things men think while going down on you - Ladies, you need to see this!

Years went by and children were born. The sex never got any better and he never got any gentler. I never learned how to please him the way he needed.

Eventually he found other women who could.

Now that he's gone, I realize that although we stood together at the altar and vowed to give each other love, respect, honor, and commitment—he's the one who didn't live up to our vows. I gave him my love, respect, honor, and commitment and he took everything .

Sometimes I wonder why it took me such a long time to realize such a fundamental concept: that no means no and rape is rape. I think it's because rape, sadly, is still a very fluid claim. "She was drunk," they say. "She teased him," say others. There are so many reasons and excuses and gray areas that pull the victim into the blame category and it all creates an awful place where facts go to die.

"I’m married," I assured myself.

I said "I do," but I never said yes . And as soon as I said no, it became rape.

-yourtango

CLICK HERE to join our BBM Channel for faster updates TOP POSTS YESTERDAY The 11 eligible Nigerian celebrity bachelors (With Pictures) 10 Signs she’s no longer into you.. 10 most disgusting celebrity public display of affection that went viral (With Pics) 10 of the most scandalous celebrity photoshoots ever (+Photos) Top 10 most expensive schools in Lagos – See which is number 1! (+Photos) Football: Top 10 teammates who hate one another (With Pictures) 10 HIV symptoms to watch out for in women – Guys, see how to know if she’s HIV positive.. 10 ridiculous celebrity fails.. Top 10 highest paid female rappers of all time – See who’s number 1! (With Pictures) The 10 most expensive mansions owned by footballers (With Pictures) If you want your man to love you more, always tell him these 6 things.. 10 Shocking facts you didn’t know about Nigerian rapper Phyno

Yes, marital rape is real: How my husband raped me on our wedding night..

READALSO:

Discussion about this post

RECENT UPDATES

POPULAR THIS WEEK

Navigate Site

Follow Us

Welcome Back!

Retrieve your password