13. You’ve stopped (or avoided) talking about the future.
“Concert next month? I don’t know … that’s a long way out”
So what are you supposed to do if this is happening in your relationship?
First, don’t panic. Obviously all of these signs that things are NOT well between you and your significant other. However, the things on this list DO NOT mean that things are over or that your partner is walking out on you this afternoon.
Even if they are actively packing their bags, you must NOT succumb to fear. Assuming they are leaving you when they’ve pulled away is frankly a sure way to psyche yourself out and put your love straight into the toilet.
It’s still possible to repair things at this point, but it takes focus, strategy and effort. Relationship insecurity panic (even when your relationship is really at risk) feels low value and desperate. It’ll just push them away even further.
Next, it’s important to consider what you REALLY want. If you’re on the fence about whether or not you should break up with them or not, they can sense that.
If you want to be with them, you have to make your decision and STICK with it.
Now, I’m not saying that you should ignore it if they treat you poorly — not at all. But I amsaying that you need to get off the fence and make your OWN decision to stay or go. You have zero control over anyone else, so that’s why I’m addressing you. Your partner may or may not want things to change, but one person committing to changing their energy can usually turn things around.
Usually when your relationship is sinking like this, one or both of you have lost yourselves in it. The relationship has taken center stage in your life and has crowded out your OWN outside goals and passions.
That’s why it’s so difficult NOT to be hyper-focused on “how it’s going.” It’s all you’ve got going on! That’s why you’ve GOT to go out and get excited about your life again. If you were never excited about your life to begin with, it’s a great time to start.
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