What if your vajay-jay could talk? Would it threaten to call vag protective services on you? Would it make you feel guilty for wearing too much lace?
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Or would it be like that really clingy friend who doesn’t understand the concept of boundaries? Personally, I’m glad this isn’t possible — I can’t get a word in edgewise as it is — but here’s what might happen if there was a voice down yonder.
1
“You bought new batteries?!”
2
“When I said I wanted to try stirrups,
this isn’t exactly what I had in mind.”
3
“OK seriously, what just happened?”
4
“And the Oscar goes to…”
5
“Oh, so that’s what he meant.”
6
“I think we should just be friends.”
7
“Sorry, we’re closed.”
8
“You want what to come out of where?”
9
“It’s like the Gobi Desert in here! Wait, is that a cactus?”
10
“I’ve decided to launch a solo career.”
11
“Excuse me, how is your headache my problem?”
12
“Whatever. Wake me when you’re done.”
13
“I’m starting to feel like a Pez dispenser.”
14
“Do you need a map?”
15
“HAHAHA, that tickles!”
16
“In the jungle, the mighty jungle…”
17
“OMG, yes! Right there! Wait, where are you going?”
18
“I really need to get out more.”
19
“I need a haircut.”
20
“Nice hat.”
21
“What’s a Brazilian?”
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