13. The Arsenal
As in, you keep almost winning – then don’t.
Here’s a tip, as soon as I make any kind of positive sound please read this as ‘bloody hell, he’s finally doing something right, please, please don’t make any changes to exactly what you’re doing now’.
14. The vag to mouth kiss
Look. If you’re cool with me feeding you a mouthful of jizz after a blow job then I am totally cool with this.
The hand wipe’s pretty grim too.
Just toddle off to the bathroom like the rest of us after se x.
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