20 Important things every girl should be told from childhood

Things every girl should be told – A girl’s mind is her greatest asset, not her clothing.

“Oh you’re just so pretty!” a middle-aged woman cooed after class to the bright-eyed girl. Without skipping a beat, she added, “Oh wait, shoot, I’m not supposed to say that, right?”

Her quick correction made me laugh — I knew exactly what she meant.

I, too, have been caught by that knee-jerk instinct to compliment a little girl’s dress or hair or face — compliments that are conditioned into our culture automatically.

I’ve felt the disapproving look of a mother, as if to say, ugh, how original.

The woman lowered her voice to a more serious tone. “You’re a very strong and intelligent young lady. Lean in!” The baby giggled right back.

Although I’m not a fan of restricting what we can and cannot say (if a little girl is rocking some killer style, I’ll tell her), I do agree with the intention and the awareness.

A few years ago, Lisa Bloom’s article “How to Talk to Little Girls” made waves, insisting that we ask little girls first about the books they read and the ideas they have, rather than compliment their looks.

“Clothes or hair or bodies … it’s surprising how hard it is to stay away from those topics with little girls, but I’m stubborn,” Bloom wrote. “Try this next time you meet a little girl [ask her what she’s reading]. She may be surprised and unsure at first, because few ask her about her mind, but be patient and stick with it … Model for her what a thinking woman says and does.”

Let’s also not forget the powerful Verizon commercial that aired last year, highlighting the unintentionally damaging things we all say to girls — things like “Who’s my pretty girl,” and “Don’t get your dress dirty.”

In other words, we’re all in agreement that the things we say to our little girls — the innuendos, the accentuated topics, the specific words — can have a powerful impact.

But instead of talking about what we can’t say, how about what we should?

Girls will always live in a world that categorizes, compares, and exploits; that’s our reality. What can we say to make their core a little stronger? What are the things our daughters deserve to hear, especially at home?

How about we start with these:

1. “No” is a powerful word. Use it, and use it often.

2. Don’t apologize for the love you have for yourself. Never diminish your light to make someone else shine.

3. You are your character — not your looks, not your job, and not your grades.

4. I love my body, and I love yours, too.

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