Now that he’s gone, I realize that although we stood together at the altar and vowed to give each other love, respect, honor, and commitment—he’s the one who didn’t live up to our vows. I gave him my love, respect, honor, and commitment and he tookeverything.
Sometimes I wonder why it took me such a long time to realize such a fundamental concept: that no means no and rape is rape. I think it’s because rape, sadly, is still a very fluid claim. “She was drunk,” they say. “She teased him,” say others. There are so many reasons and excuses and gray areas that pull the victim into the blame category and it all creates an awful place where facts go to die.
“I’m married,” I assured myself.
I said “I do,” but I never said yes. And as soon as I said no, it became rape.
-yourtango
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