3. Your Ex-girlfriend
What your girlfriend thinks of her:
The ex-girlfriend is like an old Blackberry cell phone. It was difficult, unreliable, and lacked a touch screen interface that made it hard to access the wireless network… Maybe that last one doesn’t make sense, but the other two do. Regardless, like a Blackberry, it’s no good for the long term, but when her boyfriend’s iPhone breaks, he’s reaching for old faithful.
Why she’s the worst:
There’s this episode of Futurama where the main character, Fry, is addicted to a soft drink called Slurm, despite the fact that it is made from the green, sticky slime of a gigantic worm. An ex-girlfriend is the giant worm. Cheating with her is the Slurm. Even if all is forgiven, expect a TSA-level cavity search after every night out from then on.
Celebrity cautionary tale: Scott Disick
Back in July, Scott reportedly cozied up to his ex-girlfriend, Chloe Bartoli, in Monaco while Kourtney Kardashian was back home nursing a cold with their three kids. He was drunk and touchy-feely all over Chloe, having slipped back into some bad behavior. It’s so bad, Scott’s decision making caused the same face people would make if they saw a monkey driving a tractor. It’s kind of like, “Well, it’s not exactly un-believable.”
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