8 Things to never say to someone in the hospital

“I completely understand what this is like.”

Unless you’ve gone through the exact same thing, it’s impossible to understand what someone battling a severe illness or recovering from a major medical procedure is going through. “To be helpful, be empathetic by saying that you can only imagine what they’re going through,” says Nitin Kumar, MD, a gastroenterologist in Addison, IL. “Then offer specific ways to help out, as in, ‘May I bring your mom a cup of coffee?’ or ‘May I bring dinner to your family while you’re here?'”