3. You’re too eager to have children or merge a family.
Finding a family man who wants to have children or parent yours (if you’re a single mother) is an amazing thing. And, it is definitely NOT WRONG to want children. You are absolutely entitled to what you want your life to look like.
The problem is that when women look for a man to have a family with, sometimes they come off like that’s way more important than falling in love and having a good relationship.
Marriage and children are very high stakes activities for men — so when they meet a woman who’s so focused on the family and less on what he’s like, it is a complete turnoff.
I understand why this happens. If you’re in your 30’s, want children, and are single, the clock is ticking for healthy biological children. If you’re a single mother, you cherish your children and want to meet someone who would be good with them. Either way, the pressure to meet a family friendly man can be big.
The problem happens when women pass this pressure unto men — even when they don’t mean to.
Sometimes women try to “cut to the chase” and ask a man if he wants a family right away. Sometimes women try to figure out whether a man might be open to marriage without really getting to know a man first.
While not wanting to waste time makes sense on paper, in reality, it makes the man in front of you bolt.
Also, wanting the same things is important. However, these are not topics to discuss on the first few dates when you’re getting to know someone before you’ve both even figured out if there’s a mutual attraction.
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